BAD? NO!! GOOD? WELCOMED!!

Aih.. Moody in a sudden. Past flashed back because of one question and one comment.. Go away from my mind. There's no more space for past.. Don't try to squeeze in without my PERMISSION or APPROVAL!!! NEITHER!!

After all, I'm worried of my chemistry paper 2.. The same thing, worried in sudden. During my chemistry paper 2, i gt not enough time to think. Every questions finished in rush. Calculated wrong number of carbon and hence draw wrongly for the structure.. Luckily I realized and corrected it. Yet, due to rushing hour, I cant confirm whether there were any mistakes that I left out and did I draw the structure wrongly after correction?Hope no such things happen on me.

What the.. What's going on with my brain? Keep on thinking of bad things and memories which will not bring me happiness.. LAW OF ATTRACTION..Believe that good things will happen on me.. Everything is gonna be smooth.. I'm going to have a good start all over..

可悲的爱....

爱,是什么?

爱可以很坚固,也可以很脆弱.

有些人之间的爱可以很长久,任何考验都分开不了..

但有些,你认为会坚固到海枯石烂的感情,却是那么的不堪一击…

身边发生了几个例子…

两人一起八九年了,却忽然宣告结束..

原因??? 我也很好奇…

那么多年的感情,就如此结束,多少会感到可惜…

但,冥冥注定的事,任谁也改变不了…

爱… 为什么会在这世上存在着?

爱的定义是什么?

有时,它让人幸福满满..快乐无比..

有时,它却让人伤痕累累..痛得不能复原..

为什么爱可以在无形中,控制我们的情绪?为什么爱可以在无形中操控着我们?

原以为复原的伤口,当再触碰时,又再次淌血……

原来,人们都是那么的懦弱… 都没有形状,触摸不到,看不到的”爱”影响情绪…

或许,是我们都还没学会如何去爱..才会被"爱"所伤...

永别...

小表弟,永别了….

在去医院的路途上,天色忽然转黑,让人有种不安的感觉..

我正在心里为你祈祷…

不久,一封简讯传到了阿姨的电话,通知我们,你已经永远地离开了我们…

车里的气氛忽然变得很沉重..阿姨,妈妈忍不住流下了眼泪..而我,则是强忍着眼泪..

到达医院后,看到你很安详地永远沉睡..

这是我第一次看见你,也是最后一次….

看到你的那刹那,我终就忍不住我的眼泪…任由眼泪流下…

看到你小小的身躯,是那么的脆弱..难过的感觉都涌上心头..

看到阿姨用着难舍地眼神看着你,用充满爱心的手来触摸你,这一切的情景,多么的让人伤心难过..

由你出生,到今天,只有仅仅的一星期..

听阿姨说,为了让你生存下来,你小小的手已被插满了管..

对于小小的你来说,这是多么多么地痛苦啊…

你很勇敢,你真的很勇敢..大家都觉得你已很勇敢地面对了这一切…

谢谢你那么坚强地度过了这一星期,好让你的父母有了与你相处一星期的回忆..

你一路好走..找户好人家,再来到这世界….看看这世界…

下一次,一定要努力地睁开双眼,看看这世界…健健康康地活下来…

16.10.2009

We'll be Friends FOREVER.. Miss you all..

"Graduation (Friends Forever)"

And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives
Where we're gonna be when we turn 25
I keep thinking times will never change
Keep on thinking things will always be the same
But when we leave this year we won't be coming back
No more hanging out cause we're on a different track
And if you got something that you need to say
You better say it right now cause you don't have another day
Cause we're moving on and we can't slow down
These memories are playing like a film without sound
And I keep thinking of that night in June
I didn't know much of love
But it came too soon
And there was me and you
And then we got real blue
Stay at home talking on the telephone
And we would get so excitedand we'd get so scared
Laughing at ourselves thinking life's not fair
And this is how it feels

As we go on
We remember
All the times we
Had together
And as our lives change
From whatever
We will still be
Friends Forever

So if we get the big jobs
And we make the big money
When we look back now
Will our jokes still be funny?
Will we still remember everything we learned in school?
Still be trying to break every single rule
Will little brainy Bobby be the stockbroker man?
Can Heather find a job that won't interfere with her tan?
I keep, keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly
And this is how it feels

La, la, la, la:
Yeah, yeah, yeah
La, la, la, la:
We will still be friends forever

Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?
Can we survive it out there?
Can we make it somehow?
I guess I thought that this would never end
And suddenly it's like we're women and men
Will the past be a shadow that will follow us 'round?
Will these memories fade when I leave this town
I keep, keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly

Dinner at Salmon Steak SS/15

Last week, I went Salmon Steak with my housemate for dinner.Salmon Steak!! Sounds so high class. Did I pique your interest? Haha. Actually,I did went there for more than 10 times yet I think nothing special there. lol. Maybe something wrong with me.So, I decided to write about it in my blog. The food there are not bad. Price? Reasonable. As long as you are student, before 6pm, there is promotion. One set of lunch cost 5 bucks with one ice lemon tea for free. What bout after 6pm? Promotion is still on. Yet, no more ice lemon tea for free. One set of meal still cost 5-6 bucks on average. But if you decided to choose others, such as steak, den will be 8 or 9 bucks. Consider reasonable la.. Size of the steak not small o. For me la. If compared with TM's steak size, here's larger. One plate contains spaghetti, steak and salad. Guess how much this will cost? Only 9 bucks.. cheap. It will make my tummy to appear round because I'll be so full after finishing it. Lol. Show you all few photos. Although it wont stimulate your appetite(because of the photo's colour quality), I do want to share here. ^^ And it was the first time for me in ordering drinks there.

I Miss You...

Listening to a song now.. A soft melody, soft song.. The voice of the singer is sad... A sad tone... It caused me to think of you.. Missing you..Uncontrollable, my tears rolling in my eyes... I know you are very enjoy with your life now. Having trips with friends everywhere. A life full of freedom.. I'm wondering why guys can always recover from sadness much more faster than girls? Why are girls must torture themselves by thinking of the past, the fact or reality that will not change? Ironic... You were recovered from sadness much more much more faster than me. How did you achieve this? Teach me please.. Lol.

How long will I spend in forgetting you totally? I hope it will be as soon as possible. Waiting for the day to approach. The day when I will feel nothing as I see something related to you from facebook or anywhere.. I will keep asking myself from not missing you. Missing you will not be part of my life SOON. I have to learn not to miss you. I have to immune myself from sadness... I hate who I am now. The one who cannot let something goes in the way it should.. Go go go, memory.. Leave me at least now.

Take a break..

Just done for my chemistry test.. Regretted to read Paper 6 yesterday.. I shouldn't spend such a long time on Paper 6 rather than Paper 4. Majority of the questions are taken from Paper 4. I was reading Paper 6 for whole day. Until 10 something at night, i realized that Paper 6 are all application chemistry. That's mean I haven touch any of the organic and inorganic chemistry after whole day reading. I'm retarded enough to realize about this fact. Lol.Yet, I think it would be ok for me. At least I can know my level of understanding without reading the questions before the exam. I'm sure the result will be "pretty" enough. Haha. Honestly, I'm worrying for my exam with my level of understanding. I'm the one who memorize notes. When come across questions which require technique of understanding and applying theory, I will die with a horror look..Who asks me born to be so straight. Don't know to think differently. Have to learn that now. Turn my brain, turn my brain.. I have to spend more time on chemistry. Gosh.. I have left out my biology for quite a long time. Sorry ya, Biology. I will read you around this few days or next week. Sayang.. ^^
Actually today I'm going for a movie with buddies de.So, I have to express my "gratitude" to H1N1. Why? Because it causes me to cancel my movie and shopping activities. My mum disagree me to go to public places where disease and viruses are widely spread. Aih~ Thought to watch some comedy. Now.... sob sob.. :(
Since I have done my chemistry test, I should give myself a good rest after stressing out for so many restless day.. Today i'm taking MC. I will watch series, read novel and anything that will relax myself. Think of them also happy already. Haha. Chill....

蕭賀碩 不公平

Just wanna share a song here.. Get knew about this song from a singing contest "chao ji xing guang da dao (超级星光大道 5 )"..The melody sounds nice for me.. ^^

蕭賀碩~不公平

走了那么远,发现你不在身边

独自走过了什么,自己都不了解

未来的蓝图应该有你,不该只剩叹息

只是偶尔,泪流不停

坚强的理由,只是自己骗自己

你眼中的恐惧,说什么都多余

付出的一切值不值得,永远不会有答案

只有天知道,我有多么爱你

一颗心属于一个人

在爱情里,什么算公平

爱的深,也伤得深

是不是,催眠了自己

一颗心属于我自己

爱情里,找不到公平

而当你,最后选择了逃避

我学会不公平

Chemistry

Is chemistry tough?I would answer YES! So what about organic chemistry? I would like to say it's FAR MORE MORE MORE MORE TOUGH! My gosh. Who is the one who invented chemistry in this world? They are genius? Absolutely! Am I genius? NO! Yet, i have to ask myself to be genius as them. Why am i say so? Because, I have to understand what had been invented by them.. Of course not as genius as them. Why? Because I'm just understanding and applying those theory ruled by them. But, they were those who discovered those theory. What kind of brain they owned? I'm wondering..
So, now I'm on my way to understand all chemistry process. Work in progress. Be careful, explosion might occur. Lol. So many process and terms.. here we go. Halogenation, nitration, nucleophilic addition, nucleophilic substitution, electrophilic addition and substitution, acyl chloride, formation of diol.. Aiyoo~~ So many. Even reaction with the same chemical also can produce different product when the reactant is under different conditions. When the reactant is warmed, it can produce A. When it is cold, it produced B.. What the.. My brain memory not as big as giga o. How am i going to memorize all? I'm challenging myself. I'm working them out!

Countdown for A level

Left 3 more weeks to go. After 3 weeks, I'm going to have my 3 weeks study weeks. Then, it's time for me to face my last external exam for A level-A2.. That's means it left only approximately 2 months for me to complete my A level course. Mid of November I'm going to say goodbye to A level and INTI college once i finish my exam.. All course mates and classmates are going to separate from each other. we will have lesser time to meet. I still can remember the scene when i was first registered in INTI, when i was fresh in INTI, how i knew new friends during orientation day, the first day of class, the first lab, the learning process with friends, the living style with my housemates and roommates. Everything past fast. Without knowledge, one and a half years is going to leave me. Time never returns to us. I'm growing everyday..Where should i go next after A level? I already have my target university. So i have to work the entry requirement. There are so many things i have to handle before get into Uni. I have to score better for this final exam, I have to take my MUET next year. I have to improve my english.Huh.. The major things that i have to handle right now is my studies progress.. Left not much time for me to prepare.. Strive hard. Work for that. Angelis, Work!! Once u get into ur dream Uni, everything in your mind are going to be real. You will get into your own way and living in ur desire life. No matter how hard right now, I have to withstand it. i can do it. Just as Yun told me. If i can do that, SUCCESS will overhead Failure~~

No idea

Anyone can help me? Anyone can stop me from crying? Anyone can stop the feeling of crying in the evening and night. I felt that i am so useless. I'm crying almost everyday. I found no place to release myself. my emotion is not stable. In the morning until afternoon, I'm totally ok. As evening reach, as night has reach, my emotion is totally not ok. I felt, i felt to cry. In fact i did cry. I felt suffer to be in such situation. I want to leave this situation as soon as possible.

So many things have changed. I tried my best to make it remain as it is. Yet, i failed. So many fact i couldn't change. I miss them. I miss the moment. I miss the moment a lot a lot. The moment when i am happy all the time. The moment when i have person to care about me, to protect me. Everything changed. I should accept it. I know i should accept it. But i really need time. A long time. While waiting for the time to pass, I have a suffering life now. I'm like a fool. A fool that care too much about that.

Monday A level result is going to release soon. That's what made my emotion even more unstable. I'm worried for my result. I think i did badly for my A level exam. I don't want to re-sit for the exam.. Argh.. I'm not afford to withstand this situation anymore.. really unable. I'm tired.. Mentally abuse.. >.< God, please bless i can get a better result. I know i cant score distinction result. But at least don't let me re-sit for my As. At least bless i can achieve result which can satisfy the entry requirement for Nutrition in IMU. Guan Yin Mama, please bless me. That's the only thing i can put hope and my attention on.. Please..

Why are things around me changed? Maybe because the world is kept changing, indirectly, everything changed without my knowledge, without giving my time to retain it, without giving me some time to appreciate, without giving me some time to change the fact.............

我知道

从来没想过
不能再和你签手
委屈时候没有你 陪着我心痛
一切都是我 太过骄纵 以为你会懂
一直忘了说 我有多感动

我知道你还是爱着我
虽然分开的理由我们都已接受
你知道我会有多难过
所以 即使到最后 还微笑着要我加油
我知道你还放不下我
才会 在离开时 闭着眼没有回头
我们都知道彼此心中
其实 这份爱没停过


曾经完整幸福的梦 在脑海里头
我多希望你 还在我左右.............


我知道你还是爱着我
虽然分开的理由我们都已接受
你知道我会有多难过
所以 即使到最后 还微笑着要我加油
我知道你还放不下我
才会 在离开时 闭着眼没有回头
答应你 我会好好过
不让 这些眼泪白流

First Love

First love is dangerous
only when it is also the last.

First love is a little foolish
and a lot of curiosity.

Men always want to be
a woman's first love -
women like to be
a mans last romance.

First romance,
first love,
is something
so special to all of us,
both emotionally and physically,
that it touches
our lives and
enriches them forever.

We always believe
our first love is our last,
and our last love is our first.

Woman's happiness
begins with her first love
and ends about then.

Every man is
thoroughly happy
twice in his life:
just after he
has met his first love,
and just after
he has left his last one

The magic of first love
is our ignorance
that it can never end.

First love
is a kind of vaccination
which saves a man
from catching the complaint
the second time.

Lucky is the man
who is the
first love of a woman,
but luckier is the
woman who is the
last love of a man.

To be in love
is merely to be in a state
of perceptual anaesthesia.

Love is everything it's cracked up to be.
That's why people are so cynical about it..
It really is worth fighting for,
risking everything for.
And the trouble is,
if you don't risk everything,
you risk even more.

I am a sailor,
you're my first mate
We signed on together,
we coupled our fate
Hauled up our anchor,
determined not to fail...

We only love truly once.
It is the first time
and succeeding passions
are less uncontrolled.